


First Love

by MrProphet



Series: First Life [3]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Original Character Death(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 05:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10735563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrProphet/pseuds/MrProphet
Summary: The Jaffa hot drink klah'c is an unsweetened blend of coffee, vanilla and cocoa solids; sort of a mocha from hell.This fic may be the worst I have ever treated my characters.





	First Love

_Chulak  
1925 in the Tau'ri reckoning_

The great arena on Chulak was a natural amphitheatre, cut by ancient forces into the living rock of the roots of Mount Apep only a few miles from Chulak City. Jaffa legend told how Apophis, when he had first come to Chulak leading the ancestors of the Jaffa, had scooped the arena out of the mountainside with his bare hands. With the rock he had torn free he built the palace and the temple of Chulak, and the great void became the arena, and Apophis decreed that in this place his mightiest warriors would be trained.

As Apophis had ordained, so it was. The arena was, and always had been, the primary bash'ak ground for the training of chal'ti – apprentice warriors – by members of the elite Serpent Guard, and a few other favoured veterans. Lesser warriors trained their apprentices elsewhere, the arena being too small to hold every chal'ti on Chulak, even in close formation. Those who learned their art in the arena were the best of their generation; or in these days sometimes just the wealthiest, for gold could buy a place in a Jaffa Master's training group.

On some days the warriors would come out to teach students of all ages. On this particular day, however, no warriors were present – not an unusual circumstance, as all of the teachers had many other duties and demands upon their time – and so the youngest chal'ti were not allowed in the arena. Only the older apprentices – Jaffa students over the age of twenty, resident in the warrior's hall and bound by oath to practice for at least eight hours each day – were training, although some of the younglings watched from the sidelines. Some of the chal'ti practiced alone, performing the ritual forms that drilled the motions of combat into their muscles and hearts; others sparred in pairs or larger groups.

One of the most promising chal'ti in the warrior's hall was Jor'lac of the Black Lane. He was the grandson of the former First Prime, Hek'la, and great things were expected of this young Jaffa. He was tall and handsome, with dark skin, proud features and quick, fierce eyes, and a natural leader; the prime of his training group. He commanded the admiration and loyalty of his troops, and the affection of many women, although his teachers found him to be too arrogant, and too aggressive towards his fellows. Even the most critical could not deny however that he was one of the most skilled fighters in the bash'ak. He had even defeated several of the younger, full-fledged warriors in personal combat, but today he was losing.

Jor'lac was strong and fast, but his opponent was faster, and only a little less strong. Younger than he, the other Jaffa nevertheless fought with greater skill and great cunning, baiting him into over-extending his reach, then knocking him off balance. As Jor'lac stumbled for the third time, his opponent performed a quick reverse, the staff weapon's mace-head swinging around to catch him hard under the jaw and send him sprawling.

Jor'lac looked up as the victor stood over him, offering a hand. He spat in the dust and rolled away, pushing himself to his feet without help. The victor shrugged and turned away. Seething with anger, he half turned, dropping the point of his staff weapon and sliding his finger along to the trigger. At his opponent's side, another apprentice instantly snapped his own staff to a firing position.

"You would not dare," Jor'lac hissed.

"If you attempt to fire, I shall have witnesses," the other youth said. Indeed, a small crowd of Jaffa had gathered at his shoulder.

"I shall have more," Jor'lac goaded, conscious of his own supporters moving to flank him.

"But you will also be dead," his victorious opponent pointed out.

Jor'lac turned away, and the other Jaffa slowly lowered his staff. Once the threat had passed and Jor'lac was moving out of sight, he turned to the victor.

"Well done, Andromeda," he said.

"It was nothing," Andromeda demurred, with false modesty, pulling off her leather training helmet and running a hand through her short, tangled hair. "Thank you for your help, Teal'c," she added.

"Jor'lac does not like to lose," Teal'c said. "I had feared he would try something foolish."

"I do not know if he really would have shot me," Andromeda admitted. "But I am glad you were here to watch out for me." She almost had to stand on tiptoe to do so, but she leaned up and kissed Teal'c gently on the cheek. She smiled up at him, and he smiled back at her.

"Well naturally!" Two more apprentices walked over to Teal'c and Andromeda, the larger of the two was speaking. "After all, An'auc; if you get damaged, Teal'c has to answer to your father."

Andromeda's smile wavered a little, a brittle look in her eye.

"Leave be, Fro'tac," the smaller apprentice said. "You are only jealous because they can both defeat Jor'lac and you can not."

"Nor can you, Va'lar," Fro'tac snapped, embarrassed.

"But it does not bother me," Va'lar replied. "I have no wish to be First Prime. To lead a company, in Apophis' name would be the greatest honour I could hope for."

"You do not do yourself justice," Andromeda said. "You may not be strong enough in personal combat to ever be the champion of Apophis, but you are more cunning than any other Jaffa I know. You will be a crafty battalion commander one day."

Va'lar smiled broadly at her compliments. "You are too kind, An'auc," he replied, bashfully. "Cunning and craft are not traits valued in a warrior."

At the edge of the arena, a horn blared, signalling the end of the day's training. Around the four friends, the other apprentices began to head home.

"I shall see you at supper," Teal'c said, turning to leave.

"Be wary, Teal'c," Andromeda warned. "Jor'lac may yet want revenge for his defeat."

"I am always wary, Andromeda," he assured her.

Andromeda sighed as Teal'c walked away to the armoury to change. "Not always," she whispered.

"Is everything alright, An'auc?" Va'lar asked, solicitously. Like Fro'tac, he bowed to Andromeda's wishes and now addressed her by the Chulakan variant of her name. Only Teal'c insisted on using her given name in its original form.

"Everything is fine, if you are Teal'c," Fro'tac said.

"Yes," Andromeda agreed, absently. "I am going to go home," she said. "I shall see you at supper."

*

Teal'c walked slowly through the chamka trees towards the clearing where he had trained as a boy. Despite the unpleasantness of the arena, his mood was light. The sunset stained this side of the hill red, reflecting brilliant gold from the chamka leaves, and the wind was cool, and just fresh enough to feel through his robe. Jor'lac was a brutal youth, but he had been Teal'c's enemy too long, threatened him too often, for Teal'c to take him seriously. He would never dare to attack one of Bra'tac's apprentices; the veteran warrior had always frightened Jor'lac, and now he was the First Prime of Apophis.

Ahead of Teal'c the trees rustled, and he smiled.

"I know you are there," he called out.

With a musical laugh, a girl stepped out from the trees. "You are late," she said, and then she was in his arms, kissing him hungrily. "But I forgive you," she whispered, huskily.

Teal'c ran his hands through her long, soft hair. "You knew I would come," he told her. "I can hardly stay away."

She kissed him again. "I love you, Teal'c," she assured him, holding him tightly.

"I love you, Shan'auc," he replied.

*

The warriors' hall lay on the outskirts of the urban district of Chulak city. It was a large, communal building that stood between the great barracks that housed the first three legions of Apophis' army, and the smaller, yet better appointed hall that belonged to the Serpent Guard. It was home to all of the Jaffa who were in training to become warriors in Apophis' service, from the age of twenty until they were deemed worthy to enter battle and take their place among the blooded warriors. Within that hall they slept in long dormitories and ate in the great refectory, so that between the hall and their gruelling training regime at the arena the apprentices lived every hour of their lives in each other's company, building the camaraderie and respect that would see them through battle.

The evening meal was half done by the time Teal'c joined his friends at the long table which his training company had claimed as their own. He took the central seat, as befitted his rank as company prime. Fro'tac, Teal'c's second, sat at his right, Andromeda at his left. As the First Prime's daughter, she was accorded the right to sit where she pleased. Va'lar sat opposite with Teal'c's two other section leaders.

Fro'tac and Va'lar chuckled lewdly as Teal'c sat, but Andromeda's smile was rueful.

"Something amuses you?" Teal'c asked, with mock ferocity. "I trust you have not been making sport at your prime's expense in his absence."

"We would not dream of such a thing, Teal'c," Va'lar assured him. "You know we would only mock you when you were there to defend yourself."

"Did you enjoy your 'walk'?" Fro'tac asked. "You look quite flushed."

Teal'c grinned around his spoon. His relations with Shan'auc were secret from most, even the bulk of the company, but somehow his closest friends had always known.

"I do not know how you retain the energy for training," Fro'tac went on. "With all the other demands on your time. Shan'auc obviously has you well in hand."

Andromeda frowned. "Do not talk so loudly," she said, sharply. "You will get Teal'c into trouble."

"I think he is already beyond our help," Va'lar said, but Andromeda's look did not soften.

"Andromeda..." Teal'c began.

"Do not worry, An'auc," Fro'tac laughed. "At this rate, he will make an honest woman of her before his first battle."

Andromeda harrumphed. "Marry her? A scholar's daughter?"

Teal'c bristled.

"A warrior who weds outside his caste will never be First Prime," Andromeda pointed out. "I know that you care for her, Teal'c; but I also know that you are sworn to inherit my father's mantle, and I know you well enough to know which way your heart will choose."

Fro'tac laughed again, apparently oblivious to the rising tension. "But where would he find a warrior's daughter who looks as good as her?" He asked.

Andromeda's face burned. "That...is not the point," she insisted.

"I shall not abandon her," Teal'c said.

"Then what? You know as well as I that she is too proud to ever be your mistress, even if she were not a student in the temple precinct."

If not for Shan'auc's pride, Andromeda guessed that she might have surrendered her place in the precinct and been acknowledged already as Teal'c's mistress; to live as his wife until he married another. Once wed, a Jaffa warrior would of course abandon his mistress, or at least cease to acknowledge her. It was not a bad position, but it was insecure, and left a woman always knowing that she took second place to an unrealised possibility; the unknown other that her patron might one day marry. Shan'auc would no more have settled for that than Andromeda would, and besides her pride, Shan'auc had ambition.

"She would if I asked her," Teal'c insisted.

Andromeda chose not to argue the point. "And what would you do when she is called to be tok'ai?" She demanded.

"She may not be called," Teal'c argued, although there was little doubt. With her beauty, her learning and her public piety, Shan'auc's path had been laid years before. She had already studied five years in the precinct, and few doubted she would be called to become a novice in the temple itself soon.

"Even if she is," Teal'c went on. "She could declare herself unfit to serve."

That was true, but only just. Those who would become tok'ai novices at the temple were chosen and called by the serving priests, not by the gods themselves, and so an error could be admitted, but in practice this was never done. The priests might not have the same power as the Serpent Guard, but they dominated the ranks of scholars, artisans and lesser warriors, and none would risk their anger by humiliating them so. Further, to make such a declaration, Shan'auc would have to own to her affair with Teal'c, and both would be punished; students in the precinct were supposed to remain pure.

"She will be called," Andromeda said, with absolute certainty. "Everyone knows it but you, Teal'c, and you are not blind to the fact: you simply refuse to accept it. She will be called, and she will go, because it is the only way for her to gain the status that she desires. Some even say that Apophis will choose her as one of his conc..."

"Enough!" Teal'c barked, slamming his fist onto the table. "Why must you harass me and spoil my happiness, Andromeda?" He demanded, in genuine confusion. "You are my dearest friend. Can you not be glad for me?"

"No, I can not," she replied, voice cracking, eyes sparkling with tears, and something strange and unfamiliar flickering behind the veil of tears. "Because you are going to be hurt by this, Teal'c, and I do not want that to happen."

"Of course," Fro'tac said, snidely. "This is all about Teal'c's feelings."

"Fro'tac..." Va'lar cautioned, gently, ever the peacemaker among his friends.

Andromeda hissed, sharply, and sprang to her feet. "I am going home," she announced, then turned on her heel.

Teal'c looked after her in shock. "What did I say?" He wondered aloud.

Va'lar shook his head ever so slightly, fixing Fro'tac with a fierce glower which actually managed to shut the taller Jaffa up. "Nothing," he said, adding with perfect truth: "It is nothing that you said."

*

Andromeda held her head high as she walked home, blinking back tears of bitterness, rage and frustration. She wanted, very badly, to hit something very hard; specifically, Shan'auc's face.

"An'auc!"

"Speak of the Devourer," Andromeda whispered to herself, before turning. "Shan'auc," she called back, as brightly as she could manage, clenching and unclenching her fists to dispel some of her fury.

"Are you alright?" Shan'auc asked, solicitously, looking at Andromeda's tear-filled eyes. "You look frightful."

"Your dress is crooked," Andromeda replied, spitefully.

Shan'auc absent-mindedly adjusted her linen gown, then smoothed down her tousled hair. Her lips were bruised, as Teal'c's had been, and Andromeda did not doubt that both would have marks on their arms and torsos as well. They would heal quickly of course, but one of the reasons why Jaffa did not usually pair young was that they needed time to grow into their strength.

"You are upset," Shan'auc observed.

"Yes," Andromeda agreed. "Yes, I am."

Shan'auc frowned. "If you want someone to talk to," she said. "We were friends once, An'auc; I do not know why we do not seem so now, but I am here if you..." She stopped, shaken by the blazing fury in Andromeda's eyes.

"I only had one friend as a child," Andromeda told her. "And you took him from me."

"An'auc..."

"You have no idea, have you?" Andromeda asked, rhetorically. "You will never understand." She took a step forward, and Shan'auc backed away.

"Understand what?" Shan'auc asked, confused and frightened.

"How much it hurt me, when I realised that Teal'c attended our lessons to be near _you_."

Shan'auc looked around, awkward and embarrassed. "An'auc, really. You must not..."

Andromeda snorted, contemptuously. "It really is not a well-kept secret," she said. "And to be honest, just at the moment I do not care two sheshti for your reputation, my _friend_."

"You know that we did not do this to hurt you," Shan'auc insisted. "I am sorry that you have suffered, but Teal'c and I can not help the way that we feel."

"Perhaps Teal'c can not," Andromeda admitted. "But I think that you can, and that is what concerns me."

Shan'auc's face coloured angrily. "You go too far, An'auc."

"I'm not sure I go far enough," Andromeda replied. "He still believes that you will be with him forever. I believe he hopes to become First Prime younger even than my father, and to marry you afterwards, in defiance of tradition. For your sake, he has taken it upon himself to turn the Jaffa social order on its head."

Shan'auc flushed with pride, and could not conceal a small, satisfied smile. Andromeda's eyes flashed in response, and Shan'auc flinched away from the punch that the younger woman barely restrained herself against throwing.

"You have not told him," Andromeda accused.

"An'auc," Shan'auc pleaded. "It would break his heart."

"And what will happen when he goes to meet you one day, and you are not there? Will it hurt him less if he only finds out later that you have entered the cloisters?" Andromeda demanded. "You should have told him the day you were called; it has been almost a year now."

"I...am waiting for the right time," Shan'auc argued.

"You are leading him on, and hoping that he will not find out until you are safely ensconced within the temple walls for the first five years of your novitiate."

"That is not fair," Shan'auc protested, but weakly.

Andromeda gave a snarl of anger. "You vain, selfish chit," she accused, harshly. "How can you do this to him? Does his heart mean so little to you?"

"If it is so important that he hears it, why have you not told him?" Shan'auc challenged.

Again, Andromeda almost gave in to temptation and struck the other Jaffa. "Because we _were_ almost friends once," she hissed. "And I hoped that you might do the right thing. And because it would break his heart to hear it from anyone else."

"And because he would blame you if you told him," Shan'auc accused.

"He will blame me anyway once he learns that I knew. Never fear, Shan'auc," she said, with a bitter laugh. "I shall not be snatching him up when you let him fall, however much I want to. I am certain he will pine for you for many years; I trust that shall satisfy your ego."

"You speak unfairly," Shan'auc protested. "I care for Teal'c, I..."

"You care for him so much, that you would rather have him with you a few more months than save him the greatest heartache he will ever know."

"I love Teal'c!"

"You desire him," Andromeda retorted. "You would not know love if you had it, Shan'auc, or you would understand why what you are doing is wrong, and why it will kill both Teal'c and myself. If you love him, why not reject the calling; you can do that."

Shan'auc's face set hard. "I live to serve my God, as do we all. Whether this is his will, or that of his priests, I must obey it."

"Do not make me laugh," Andromeda scoffed. "The year following your calling is supposed to be one of quiet reflection, not a last opportunity to enjoy your lover's touch before you enter the temple cloister for your training. A touch a student in the precinct should never have known."

Shan'auc hissed. "Do you think that this is easy for me?"

"Actually, yes; I think it is very easy for you." Andromeda shook her head, sadly. "We were almost friends once," she repeated. "Before you stole away my love to flatter your own vanity. As your almost-friend, I am asking you one more time, to do what must be done. Tell Teal'c that you have been chosen to enter the temple and become tok'ai; and tell him _before_ you take your vows and disappear from his life."

"How dare you tell me what to do?" Shan'auc demanded. "Who are you...?"

"I am the woman who actually does love Teal'c," Andromeda replied. "I am the daughter of the First Prime of Apophis, and furthermore, I can snap your neck like a twig if you cross me." She took a threatening step towards Shan'auc. The novice-to-be was taller than she was, but Andromeda knew her father's tricks. She poured all the power of her compact, muscular body into her bearing, and Shan'auc cowered before her.

"Do this thing," Andromeda said, in a low voice. "Make it right."

She turned and stalked away, vanishing into the shadows of dusk, leaving Shan'auc trembling in the road.

*

_Next day_

The youngest Jaffa ever to become First Prime of Apophis had been thirty-three years old, and he had been a humble soldier elevated only to buy time for the Serpent Guard to reach their lord, by fighting and dying in single combat with another First Prime. The youngest man to truly bear that mantle had been fifty-eight; two years younger than Bra'tac had been when he took the role a year ago.

Bra'tac had become First Prime so young because the old Prime – Jor'lac's grandfather, Hek'la – had died in battle to hold a vital Stargate, with Bra'tac fighting at his side. The Stargate had been held, but Bra'tac himself had nearly died, and Teal'c's training company had taken turns to keep a vigil at his side. Andromeda of course had been there throughout, but at all times one of Bra'tac's warriors and one of his chal'ti would sit with her, lending silent support.

After three days in a coma, Bra'tac had come around, and a day after that he had been invested as First Prime of Apophis. Weakened, the rituals of investiture had almost killed him, but he had borne the pain and stayed conscious as the molten gold was poured into the cuts in his forehead. Even those who had questioned Bra'tac's worthiness to succeed Hek'la – Jor'lac's father among them – had been forced to concede that he was a warrior of uncommon fortitude and courage. Once he was invested of course, none could question him unless they wished to question Apophis.

Since his accession, Bra'tac had been offered a new house, larger and finer than his old dwelling, but had declined to move, preferring to remain in the home he had shared with his late wife, Ariadne. His duties as First Prime kept him very busy, and to his regret he had far less time than he would have liked to spend with his chal'ti. Fortunately, he had a strong and competent prime to lead his training company, and on the day of rest Teal'c would break his fast with Bra'tac, and learn of his plans for the next week's lessons. One of Bra'tac's trusted lieutenants would actually instruct the apprentices when necessary, but he left Teal'c to organise the company.

This week, as usual, Teal'c arrived a few minutes early, and stopped to pay his respects to Bra'tac's ne'pher; his housekeeper. A handsome widow, some years younger than Bra'tac himself, she was marked out from all other Jaffa on Chulak by the stylised raven tattoo on her brow.

"Kel sha, mother," Teal'c greeted her.

"Kel sha, Teal'c," Ry'auc responded, rising and clasping her only child in a fond embrace. "You are hurt," she added, noting his bruises.

"It is nothing," he assured her, the words of concern and denial a private ritual between them.

Ry'auc had seen warriors suffer wounds more serious than this without even slowing down, both during her marriage to Ro'nac and her service with Bra'tac. Ordinarily they would have been speaking of training injuries of course, for Ry'auc did not know of her son's affair, and Teal'c would not usually have met with Shan'auc the night before a day of rest. Lately however, the young woman had grown more ardent – if that were possible – and demanded more and more of Teal'c's time.

"You should take better care of yourself," she cautioned. "You will get hurt."

Teal'c frowned at his mother's enigmatic warning. "They are only bruises," he said.

"That is not the hurt I speak of," she said, and Teal'c realised that she knew.

"How...?"

Ry'auc straightened her son's robes and smiled, wearily. "Do you think I live my whole life within these walls?" She asked. "I am Master Bra'tac's ne'pher. I keep his house, but I also attend his needs, and that requires me to travel all across this city. I have become well enough known that I hear all the choicest gossip of Chulak, even that at the warrior's hall. There is nothing that occurs in this world of ours that I can not learn of if I set my mind to it."

"I know what I am doing, Mother," Teal'c assured her.

"I should be very surprised if you did," Ry'auc replied, sadly. "But you are young, and I know well enough that you will not be told these things; no child does. Certainly, I did not listen to my grandparents."

"Mother..." Teal'c began to protest, but Ry'auc cut him off.

"You must make your mistakes," she said. "I wish that I could shield you from that, but the time when I could suffer hurts for you ended many years past, my beloved child. But be attentive to your friends; you may be hurting others, as well as yourself."

"Mother..." Teal'c began again, baffled this time.

"Hush," she said, laying a finger on his lips. "Master Bra'tac is expecting you, and you should not be away from the hall for too long."

"Yes, Mother," Teal'c agreed, reluctantly. Although he hated it, he was required by his oaths to live his life among his fellow chal'ti until his teacher released him from the hall. Even these short visits to his mother were more than was strictly allowed; until Master Bra'tac deemed him ready to become a senior apprentice – a chal'ak – the other trainees were supposed to be his only kin.

Ry'auc embraced her son, fondly. Teal'c returned the hug, then left her to seek his teacher.

 

Bra'tac was in conference with two of his battalion primes, and so Teal'c waited by the door of his study. He did not think that he had been seen, but Bra'tac's voice called for him to enter.

"Come, Teal'c," the First Prime said. "Stand over there in the corner and be quiet, but observe. These are matters you should learn of."

Teal'c stood, and watched attentively as Bra'tac discussed an upcoming campaign with his commanders. There was little talk of the order of battle; instead, Bra'tac was discussing logistics, the terrain on which they would fight and the deployment of scouts to gather advance intelligence. He talked of supply lines and strong points; paths of retreat and rallying points; the deployment of transport ships and death gliders. To Teal'c, a young warrior, hungry for glory, it all seemed incredibly dull.

After an hour or more, the commanders bowed to the First Prime and left. Then, and only then, did Bra'tac turn to his apprentice.

"I am sorry that I have been absent from the bash'ak for so long," he said. "But it has been a time of great strife, and Lord Apophis requires my services almost constantly. We battle against the forces of Bastet," he went on. "And it is a hard struggle."

"How can that be?" Teal'c asked. "Are not Apophis' forces the mightiest of all the System Lords under Ra?"

Bra'tac snorted. "Not by some distance," he said. "Your father's lord, Cronus, overmatches Apophis at present, as do Bastet, Nirrti and Heru-Ur; and of course, Ra is supreme."

"But Apophis is the enemy of Ra; his greatest foe." Teal'c was confused by what Bra'tac was telling him.

"Apophis is Ra's most implacable rival," the First Prime agreed. "But at present he is less strong than many others. We lost too many Jaffa in the battle against Nirrti's army, on the day when Hek'la fell."

"But Bastet...Her army is weak. She employs many women as warriors..." Teal'c fell silent as Bra'tac fixed him with a gimlet stare.

"I have heard that voice from you before," he said. "That is your father talking. Did not a woman teach you the art of battle?"

"Yes, Tek ma'te," Teal'c agreed. "But...Is not the First Prime of Bastet also a woman?"

"She is," Bra'tac replied. "And a wiser one now than when she defeated your father's legion twenty years ago. Kereb'na is a canny and dangerous opponent, and I would not care to go against her with double her numbers. Come, Teal'c," he said, leading the chal'ti to his table, where a map of a battlefield was laid out. "This is Shalkat; a world much desired by Apophis, Bastet and Svarog. We have allowed Svarog and Bastet to battle for possession of the world, and now Kereb'na is overseeing the construction of a fortress there. She has been on that world for four weeks."

Bra'tac took up a long pointer and gestured at the map as he spoke. "While precise details will have to await the reports of our scouts, we know that as of three weeks ago she has established the foundations of a fortress here, overlooking the Chappa'ai, defended by a system of energy cannons. The fortress is protected from behind by a canyon wall, at the top of which she has placed a ha'tak landing pad and is constructing two others on the plain behind, here and here. She has at least one ha'tak in orbit, and its contingent of Jaffa are on the ground. We have two ha'tak en route to Shalkat bearing the Second and Fifth Legions, and Apophis has given me leave to lead the Serpent Guard and the First Legion through the Chappa'ai to coincide with their arrival.

"So tell me, Teal'c; how would you carry out this attack."

Teal'c studied the map for a long moment, thinking of all he had been taught. "Your ha'tak vessels should concentrate their fire on Bastet's mothership, and destroy it before it can launch its death gliders. Your gliders can then destroy the energy cannons, and the Jaffa advance through the Chappa'ai, along this road and destroy or seize the fortress foundations. The Jaffa of the second legion can land through the ring transporters, here and here, while the fifth take the landing pad."

Bra'tac nodded. "And what do you estimate the result of your tactics would be?" He asked.

"The world would be taken for Apophis, and his enemies destroyed," Teal'c replied.

"Casualties among your troops?"

Teal'c frowned, never having been asked such a question before. He tried to work it out. "Fifteen death gliders," he offered. "Perhaps one third of the First Legion; minimal casualties in the Second and Fifth. The losses would be acceptable."

Bra'tac gave a satisfied grunt. "Spoken like a true servant of the Gods," he said. "And what if I were to tell you that the casualties would be closer to two thirds of the First, and the entirety of the Fifth Legion? The Second would lose half of their number and their ha'tak would be crippled. Your forces would lose six of every seven gliders launched, and the Serpent Guard would be decimated. Are those losses acceptable?"

Teal'c's frown deepened. "In the service of Apophis..."

"Are they acceptable?"

"Yes."

"Ha'shaak!" Bra'tac snapped. "Have I taught you nothing Teal'c? Think!"

"Tek ma'te Bra'tac," Teal'c appealed. "I do not think that your estimate of our losses would be borne out."

"You do not?"

"I do not," Teal'c replied, boldly. "You say that the Fifth would be destroyed. By what?"

"By the self-destruct charges set in the landing pad," Bra'tac replied. "The reports do not mention them, but I know that they are there because I would put them there myself. This assuming that the ha'tak is in any state to land after fighting Bastet's warships."

"But you said that there was only one ha'tak..."

"There was at least one ha'tak, three weeks ago," Bra'tac reminded him. "Most of the Second's losses would be in space," he went on. "Your idea to send them as shock troops to the ring transports was good, although the first few waves would suffer greatly at the hands of the sentries."

"The map shows no sentries," Teal'c noted.

Bra'tac sighed. "But what does your instinct tell you?" He asked.

Teal'c paused again before responding. "That there will be sentries, or at least tacs."

"And what do you trust? Your instincts, or an incomplete, three week old map?"

Teal'c bowed his head in shame.

"Tell me, Teal'c," Bra'tac said. "What would you have said to me, if you had _not_ been trying to answer as a good Jaffa should?"

Teal'c looked up, warily. "That I should make no plan until I had the reports of the scouts," he admitted, ashamed of his caution.

"And that is good," Bra'tac said. "Always listen to your instincts Teal'c. If I have done my work well, then by the time you enter battle, they will not often steer you wrong."

"Master Bra'tac," Teal'c said.

"Yes, Teal'c?"

"What will you do on Shalkat?"

Bra'tac smiled, kindly. "I shall not decide for certain until I have the reports from my scouts," he said. "But if, as I suspect, the fortress is half-built, the second landing pad complete, another ha'tak present and the number of Jaffa doubled, or even tripled...I shall send shock grenades through the Chappa'ai to clear a path, and take position in the sacred space about it. The First Legion shall approach the fortress from the flanks in a pincer manoeuvre, while the Serpent Guard move along the road, carrying heavy weapons to defend against gliders and assault the energy cannons.

"Only once the bulk of Bastet's gliders are deployed against my forces will our ha'tak vessels engage. With spotters on the ground, we can bring our motherships in at an advantageous angle. The ground troops will dig in once the ha'taks arrive, and wait for support from the gliders and ha'taks. No attempt will be made to land, but two sections of the Serpent Guard will be sent to the ring transporters to clear them of sentries and traps so that the Second and Fifth Legions may join the battle on the ground."

"And what if your plan is unsuccessful?" Teal'c asked.

"I shall return as many warriors as I can to Apophis through the Chappa'ai."

"You would flee from battle, leaving the field in the hands of the enemy?" Teal'c was horrified by the idea.

Bra'tac smiled, grimly. "No, Teal'c; I would not. You know better than anyone how that would end. I would stand my ground and fight to the last, but I would do all that lay in my power to save the lives of those who followed me. Besides; Apophis can not at this time afford to lose so many warriors. Only when you and your fellow Chal'ti are ready to enter battle will his forces have regained the strength that they possessed when I was your age."

Teal'c beamed with pride. "When do you set out?"

"The scouts are due back tomorrow," the First Prime replied. "And the ha'taks are almost in position. I shall lay my plans, spend the night camped at the Chappa'ai with my forces, and then pass through in the morning. I have a request to make of you," he added.

"You have only to ask, Tek ma'te," Teal'c assured him.

"While I am gone, watch over my daughter," Bra'tac said. "She is a wilful child; as rebellious as her mother was. I do not like that she eats at the warrior's hall, but I can think of no way to prevent her short of confining her to her chamber, and I would not wish to cage her. But she will never be a warrior, Teal'c, and in that I can thwart her. I wish for you to ensure that she does not attempt to train or spar with any of my apprentices while I am gone. Will you do that?" He asked.

Teal'c struggled to meet Bra'tac's gaze. "I shall keep her from such pursuits as though I were her father myself," he promised.

"Thank you, Teal'c," Bra'tac said. The door of his room was pushed open, and Ry'auc entered, bearing a laden tray. In silence, she laid out the food she carried on a small table.

"Thank you, Ry'auc," Bra'tac said.

"Master Bra'tac," she acknowledged, with a bow.

"Will you join us?" Bra'tac asked, as he always did.

"Thank you, but no," Ry'auc replied, again as she did each week. "My duties will not wait."

"It is a day of rest," Bra'tac told her.

Ry'auc looked to the map with a small smile. "I shall take as much rest as you do," she said. "No more, no less."

"Well, I am resting now," he assured her. "I shall not speak with my apprentice of the training I wish him to oversee in my absence until we have eaten."

"Then I shall join you," Ry'auc allowed. "And I shall remember your kindness in my prayers." She drew three chairs to the table, and the three Jaffa sat to eat, completing another weekly ritual.

Bra'tac picked up one of the gently steaming loaves, and broke it open, signalling the start of the morning meal.

*

The next day, Andromeda came to the arena again and defeated three chal'ti in succession with uncharacteristic brutality. Teal'c had rarely seen her display so much aggression, and it troubled him. Fro'tac on the other hand seemed to find the change deeply fascinating, and that also bothered Teal'c, although he was less certain why it should. As for her defeated opponents, they were as sour as any of the chal'ti ever were to be defeated by a woman; even if she were the daughter and student of Bra'tac.

It was not until late in the day that Teal'c approached his friend about her behaviour.

"Andromeda."

"Yes, Teal'c," she replied, with a waspish edge to her voice. "How can I be of assistance?"

"I am concerned," Teal'c said. "You do not appear to be yourself today."

"I am perfectly well," Andromeda assured him, failing to sound as though she meant it. "You spoke to my father yesterday?"

"I did."

"He told you to keep me from training, did he not?" She demanded.

"He did."

"And you swore to do so," she accused.

"As though I were your father myself," he agreed. "And your father has so far had little success in preventing you from training."

A smile flickered across Andromeda's face. "I never suspected you of such deviousness," she confessed.

"I am sorry that you doubted me," Teal'c replied.

"It is just..." She paused, turning her eyes away from him.

"Andromeda?"

"You have been acting so strangely of late," she said, the words tumbling out a little too fast.

"I have been acting strangely?" Teal'c asked. "What of you? Why will you not look at me?"

"Because...Because I fear you, Teal'c," she whispered, softly. "At dinner, when you shouted at me...You have never become angry at me before, but last night I understood for the first time why my father feared for my safety with you."

Teal'c was shocked, but it suddenly struck him that that was the unfamiliar look he had seen in Andromeda's eye: Fear. "I would never hurt you," he swore.

Andromeda laughed, humourlessly. "You have hurt me, Teal'c," she said, offering no further explanation. "Will your oath keep you from teaching me that which my father teaches to you?" She asked, changing the subject.

"It shall not," he promised. "Although...If you fear I might harm you, perhaps Fro'tac...?"

Andromeda shook her head. "No, Teal'c. I still want to learn from you, and you are still my dearest friend."

"As you are mine," he swore.

"So; I shall meet you in the grove this evening, in the second hour of night?"

"The third," Teal'c said. "I am meeting with Shan'auc before."

Andromeda grimaced. "As your dearest friend, I am honoured to make second place," she said.

"Andromeda..."

"In the third hour," she said, more sharply than she had intended.

As Andromeda turned away, Fro'tac came to Teal'c's shoulder. "Does An'auc seem...different to you today?" He asked.

"She is out of sorts," Teal'c replied. "It is nothing to be worried by."

"Who said that I was worried?" Fro'tac asked. "I like it."

Teal'c gave his friend a sharp look. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"You have to ask?" Fro'tac laughed, lasciviously. "You must see it. An'auc is always beautiful, but she has a special charm when she is excited like this. Does it not make you want to..."

Fro'tac broke off as Teal'c seized him violently by the throat. He choked, but as much in astonishment as anything, for Teal'c's grip was powerful, but not tight.

"She is your tek ma'te's daughter," Teal'c growled. "You should not speak of her in such a manner."

"Teal'c," Va'lar called, softly. Around them, other chal'ti were looking over. Jor'lac looked up from a small huddle, where he was commiserating with Andromeda's fallen opponents. The arena was filled with combat and violence, but there was a flavour to this conflict that marked it out from the rest; a brutality and earnestness that told the young Jaffa that this was for real.

"What is wrong with you?" Fro'tac choked. "All I am saying is..."

Teal'c tightened his grip. "Do not say it," he said. "Ever. You will not speak of her like that, nor look on her in such a way again." He released his hold, and Fro'tac stumbled away.

"Damn you, Teal'c," Fro'tac gasped. "You can not have it both ways."

"What do you mean?" Teal'c demanded.

"Fro'tac," Va'lar cautioned, laying a hand on his friend's arm. "Now is not the time."

Fro'tac shrugged Va'lar off. "We all thought you only had eyes for Shan'auc," he said. "That you would never notice An'auc."

Teal'c staggered as if from one of Bra'tac's punches as the truth finally struck him.

"But you can not have them both," Fro'tac went on. "And you know it. If..."

"Fro'tac!" Va'lar snapped, with unusual force. Although smaller than Fro'tac and usually quieter, for a moment he seemed the more intimidating, as the force of his kalash shone through. Not for the first time, Teal'c wondered if Va'lar had not missed his calling. He would have made an imposing priest, but he came from a line of warriors; a line he was expected to continue.

"I...I must go," Teal'c said, feeling dazed.

"Teal'c!" Va'lar called. "Good luck."

"I...thank you, Va'lar."

*

In the first hour after sundown, Teal'c kept his rendezvous with Shan'auc. He had been caught up in thought all evening, so much so that he had missed dinner in the hall. He wondered vaguely whether Andromeda would have been there, and whether it might have helped him to speak to her first, but he could not change the past and so he put it as much as possible from his mind. For the first time in years, the prospect of seeing Shan'auc filled him not with excited anticipation but with anxiety and worry.

"Hello, Teal'c," Shan'auc said, when he did not react to her approach.

"Shan'auc," he replied, voice heavy with emotion.

"What is the matter?" Shan'auc asked, concerned.

"This can not go on," Teal'c said.

"I know," Shan'auc sighed. "And I am sorry."

"It is I who must apologise," Teal'c said. "You have endangered your own prospects to be with me, and you have deserved my love, but I find that I can not give it." He turned to face her. "I am in love with another," he confessed. "I am in love with Andromeda."

"With An..." Shan'auc stopped. "Oh. Well, I...I am saddened by that," she said. "Greatly saddened. But I shall have to accept it. Besides, I still have a chance of entering the temple."

Teal'c took her gently by the shoulders. "I am sorry to have done this to you," he told her. "I should have told you before, but the truth was slow to dawn on me. She has been my dear friend so long that I did not sense the change in my own heart. If there is ever anything that I can do for you..."

"Please, Teal'c," she replied, scarcely able to believe her good fortune. "Let us make this as swift, and as painless, as possible."

"Of course," he agreed. "I...thank you for being so understanding. It is more than I could have hoped for. More than I have deserved."

"You have been kind to me," Shan'auc demurred. "And you have been my friend. For that, and for having the courage to tell me this, you deserve my respect."

"I shall leave you now," he said. "And I am sorry."

Shan'auc stood and watched as he walked away, conflicting emotions tearing at her heart. He was almost out of sight when she started after him. "Wait, Teal'c!" She called, running after him. He stopped and turned, and she grasped his arms as she caught up with him.

"What is it, Shan'auc?" He asked, seeing the conflict and anguish on her face.

"I can not let it end like this," she said. "You have to know..." She stopped, and paused for a long time. "I was chosen," she confessed at last, in a small, strangled voice. "A year ago I was chosen. I shall enter the cloisters in a matter of weeks. I have avoided telling you, because I wanted to hold onto you as long as I could, and...because I hoped not to have to tell you at all. I had planned to enter the cloisters without confessing the truth," she went on. "To leave you behind, and save myself pain by leaving you to suffer alone."

"Then...why tell me now?" Teal'c asked, in a choking voice.

"I came here tonight to tell you," she said. "I was told what I should have seen myself; that what I was doing was wrong. When you told me...I thought I could spare myself, but you must know this. You must not bear the blame for our breaking in your heart."

"I see," Teal'c said, taking a step away from her. "I must...I must go," he said. "I need to think." He turned and walked away.

"Teal'c..." Shan'auc started after him.

"No," Teal'c said. "I need to be alone."

Shan'auc stopped, and watched him stumble away. Her heart ached for him, swelling with the love she truly did feel for him, even if it were not enough to override her pride and ambition. She feared that he might come to some harm, wandering in the woods at night, but she consoled herself with the knowledge that he was the strongest youth on Chulak; strong enough to take care of himself.

Her fear for Teal'c making her suddenly aware of the dangers that surrounded her, Shan'auc drew her cloak about her shoulders and turned for home.

*

Teal'c headed further into the chamka trees, pain tearing at his heart. As soon as he had realised that his feelings for Andromeda ran deeper than he had ever admitted to himself, he had known that he _must_ tell Shan'auc. It had been hard for him to do what he felt must be done and break with her, and the good grace with which she took the news had been a comfort to his troubles. But to learn the reason for that grace – to learn that she had lied to him for a whole year; that she had planned to leave him high and dry – was more than he could bear.

Teal'c took pride in his ability to deal honestly with others, and he asked nothing of his friends but that they be as honest with him. He would rather argue with a friend than have that friend conceal his true feelings for the sake of amity. He might have been stung that Andromeda had never spoken of her own feelings for him, but although he was young, Teal'c had wisdom enough to see – with the benefit of hindsight – that she had been telling him for years. Since they first began to not be children anymore, she had been telling him how she felt with every word she spoke to him; he had just been too blind to see it.

He shook his head, disgusted at his own stupidity, and went further into the forest.

*

As the third hour drew to a close, Andromeda stamped her feet impatiently, then began performing a series of kata to stave off the chill that was settling into her bones. She was about to give up on Teal'c entirely when she heard the sound of stealthy movement in the chamka trees around the clearing.

Andromeda smiled, wryly. "It is about..." she began, then stopped. There was another movement behind her. She slipped her hands to a fighting grip on her mashak, and wheeled sideways, away from where she had been when she spoke. She listened intently, and guessed that five or even six people were creeping towards the edges of the clearing. She slowed her breathing, making herself as still as she could, and waited.

The moon passed behind a cloud, and darkness swallowed the clearing.

*

As he wandered in the chamka groves, Teal'c was suddenly aware of the sounds of fighting. With a start, he remembered that Andromeda would be waiting for him, and then with mounting horror realised that the sounds of combat were coming from the clearing where they trained together. He jogged towards the spot, gathering speed as it became clear that she was not sparring, but battling in earnest.

He broke into the clearing, and saw three men, heads bound in cloth turbans that concealed their faces, fighting against his friend. Two were coming at Andromeda with mashak, and while she was holding them at bay, Teal'c knew at once that they were not trying to strike her, just grabbing her attention. She had clearly been fighting well, as two more opponents had already been floored, their training staffs lying at Andromeda's feet, but she seemed to be growing sluggish. Her movements were slow and exaggerated, and she seemed unsteady on her feet.

At that moment, the moon emerged from the clouds. Teal'c looked to the third man, and saw a knife in his hand, glittering silver, the blood staining its blade seeming black in the moonlight.

With a roar of pure, unfettered rage, Teal'c leaped forward, sweeping up a mashak and battering one of the attackers to the ground. The other looked up in horrified surprise, but was able to muster some defence as Teal'c pounded at him. The man blocked one strike, two, and then a third, but the fourth caught him on the side of the head, and he fell. Teal'c turned to the third – the man with the knife. All he could see were the man's eyes, brimming with fear and hatred.

The man turned and ran, and Teal'c started after him.

"Teal'c!"

Teal'c turned, and saw Andromeda leaning heavily on her mashak, swaying on her feet. Slowly, she began to pitch forward; the staff slipped and she fell, but Teal'c was there to catch her and lower her gently to the ground.

"Andromeda!" He gasped, alarmed.

"Bastards," she muttered. "Could not beat me alone..." She broke off, coughing, and blood flecked her lips. Teal'c reached down and wiped it away. "Where were you?" She asked, the shadow of a roguish grin flickering across her lips. "What did Shan'auc need you for that took so long?"

"I...She was chosen," Teal'c sobbed. "I broke with her. Lie still, Andromeda."

"I am sorry," Andromeda told him. "Truly."

"I did not break with her for that," he said. "She told me after. I..."

Andromeda coughed again, a shuddering half-retch that ended in a spurt of gore. Teal'c cleaned it away, and to his horror saw that there were flecks of blue among the red. Gingerly, he pulled aside her tunic, and saw that the assassin's knife had stabbed into her stomach, piercing the flaps of her pouch and slaying the prim'ta within. The blue-purple blood of the symbiote was oozing from the x-shaped incision on her belly, mingling with her own. The wound was mortal; Teal'c needed no skill in healing to know that.

"You know," Andromeda croaked. "Just the other day I said that nothing could hurt more than knowing I'd lost..." Another fit of coughing swallowed her next words. When she had finished, she gasped out: "I was wrong."

Teal'c gently stroked her hair. "Lie still," he said again. "I...I need to get you to a healer, I think."

Andromeda gave a soft, gurgling laugh. "Sweet boy; I know that I am dying. I just want...I need to tell you before I..." She broke off again, this time crying out in agony, as her body arched upwards. "Oh, gods!" She swore.

Teal'c was at a loss, but dragged her against him and held her still until the cries and spasms subsided. "I know," he whispered, over and over again.

"I love you, Teal'c," Andromeda gasped, her voice faded to a hoarse rattle.

"I know," he said again. "I...Please do not die, Andromeda. I love you. It took so long for me to realise; I can not lose you now. You can not die."

"I think you will find I can," Andromeda corrected him. "I just wish..." She fell into another bout of coughing, and when she was done seemed too weary to continue speaking.

"I love you," Teal'c said again, kissing her. "I must find help. I must..."

"Do not leave me, Teal'c!" Andromeda begged, seizing him tightly by the hand. "I _am_ dying," she insisted. "You can not change that, and I do not want to die alone."

Teal'c squeezed her hand. "I am here," he promised. "I shall always be here." He gathered her shivering form into his arms, and held her, whispering to her until she died.

*

In the camp by the Chappa'ai, Bra'tac sat with his commanders, listening to the reports of his scouts and formulating plans. The Jaffa were huddled in their cloaks against the cold, as an icy wind blew down from the glaciers. It was even colder here than among the chamka groves, and the commanders were drinking the hot, bitter beverage known as klah'c to keep the night chill from seeping into their bones.

The reports filled Bra'tac with fear. His scouts had found signs of more than twice as many defenders than even he had feared. Kereb'na had brought five legions to the planet in the last three weeks, and concealed them in the hills around the Chappa'ai. Only by luck had one of the scouts located one of their hidden encampments without being killed, and marshalled a more cautious reconnaissance to estimate the numbers in hiding. The ha'taks that had brought these troops were no longer in the system – part of the bait to draw him into Kereb'na's trap, no doubt – but must surely be close by. Knowing where the Jaffa were, Bra'tac had a slim advantage, but he doubted it would be enough.

His mind filled with desperate gambits, Bra'tac was snapped back to the world around him by a clatter and a scream of shock and pain.

"You clumsy fool!" One of the battalion primes snapped, leaping to his feet. His tunic was soaked with steaming klah'c, the cause of his alarm and anger.

"I am sorry, Master Chel'at," Ry'auc said, stooping to retrieve the pot she had dropped. "My hand...it slipped."

"You are as clumsy as you are stupid, Cron'la-has!" Chel'at accused. Ry'auc's face flamed, and she slunk away in shame.

"Chel'at," Bra'tac said, softly.

"Yes, First Prime?" Chel'at replied.

Bra'tac turned to face the battalion leader, his dark eyes boring into the man. "I never wish to hear you, or anyone else, use that name for my ne'pher again. When she returns, you will apologise to her for your harsh words."

"I...forgive me First Prime," Chel'at mumbled. "I spoke in anger."

"I know that you did," Bra'tac assured him. "That is why you are still standing. He who insults my house, insults me." He rose to his feet, and swept past the stunned Jaffa to follow Ry'auc.

 

In Bra'tac's tent, Ry'auc set the klah'c pot down and sat herself on her bedroll. Although she would not accompany the First Prime into battle, until he left on the campaign, he considered it her duty to tend to his needs, and so she slept near his side while he camped, ready to depart. She raised a hand before her face, and it trembled. She clenched her fist, and with an effort of will forced it to be still and steady.

"Ry'auc?"

Ry'auc dropped her hand to her side as Bra'tac entered. "I am sorry, Master Bra'tac," she said. "I shamed you..."

Bra'tac waved away her apologies. "It is a cold night," he said. "All of our hands are clumsy. I might think of blaming you if I did not believe that half of my primes would drop their staff weapons if we went into battle now; more than that without the klah'c you are bringing to us."

"Master Chel'at..."

"Will apologise for hard and foolish words," Bra'tac assured her. "I will not hear my faithful ne'pher defamed that way."

Ry'auc looked up, tears sparkling in her dark eyes. "Thank you, Master Bra'tac," she said, sincerely.

The First Prime settled onto the bedroll beside her. "You do not have to thank me," he told her.

She gave a bittersweet smile. "My husband would never have done as much for me," she said. "If one of his friends called me a fool, he would tell them he did not marry me for my mind."

"Then he was the fool," Bra'tac assured her. "I do not know what I would have done without you, these last ten years," he admitted. "My dear Ariadne always spoke highly of you, and I understand why."

"You have shown my son and I much kindness," she replied. "Whatever I can do for you, it is small thanks for that." She raised her hand, reaching towards Bra'tac, but stopped, remembering another cold night, more than a decade past. Bra'tac reached back, folding her hand in his. He smiled, and she smiled back at him.

The flap of the tent was pushed aside, and Teal'c's voice called out: "Master Bra'tac!"

Bra'tac fought back his impatience, as much for Ry'auc's sake as for her son's. "Teal'c..." He began, but stopped. He sat with his back to the entrance, but Ry'auc was facing it, and the look of horror in her eyes chilled the First Prime to the bone. He turned slowly, and saw; almost without seeing. He saw the young man, and saw what he carried, but for a long moment his mind could not – would not – recognise that bloody bundle.

"I am sorry, Master Bra'tac," Teal'c whispered.

As though the boy's words had broken a spell, reality flooded in on the older man. He fell to his knees, clasped his daughter's body where it hung in Teal'c's gentle arms, and howled aloud in grief and pain as he had never done before, and never would again.

*

Bra'tac found Teal'c sitting on the cold hillside, shivering. He draped a blanket around the boy's shoulders and said: "Tell me."

"Tek ma'te," Teal'c replied. "I bear the responsibility for your daughter's death."

"I see," Bra'tac said. "You held the knife that killed her?"

"No..."

"Then did you attack her, wearing her down until your accomplice could strike her?"

"No, Master Bra'tac, but..."

"Then how are you responsible for her death?" Bra'tac asked, wearily.

"I have been training her ever since you stopped," he confessed. "I also deceived the other chal'ti into thinking that she had your permission to train at the arena and to spar with them. She waited for me in the groves, and I was late for our lesson. Those who attacked her tonight were chal'ti whom she had defeated in combat. If not for my actions, she would not have been killed."

Bra'tac sat beside his apprentice. "Teal'c," he said. "You once asked me why I saw the potential in you, but not in my own daughter. If there is a fault to be borne by any but the cowards who killed my Andromeda, then it lies with her father. I was the one who refused to foster her true gift. If I had been training her as a warrior, then she would not have been out there, and her defeated opponents would have no cause for bitterness if she were a chal'ti like them."

The First Prime sighed, seeming much older than he had been when he broke bread with Teal'c just two days before. "But I did not want her to kill for the Gods," he whispered, almost too softly for Teal'c to hear.

"There is something else," Teal'c confessed, too perturbed by his own troubles to comment on Bra'tac's odd statement.

"Yes?" Bra'tac asked.

"After she had died...the prim'ta within me crawled from my belly and began to..." Teal'c swallowed hard, tasting bile in his mouth. "To drink the blood from her wound. I was sickened at the sight of this, and I...Tek ma'te; I slew the god with my bare hands. Then I took the prim'ta from the belly pouch of one of Andromeda's attackers – one whom she had already slain defending herself – to conceal my crime."

"And what is it that troubles you most?" Bra'tac asked.

Teal'c hung his head in shame. "Knowing that I might have taken the same prim'ta and saved Andromeda's life."

Bra'tac laid a hand on Teal'c's head in benediction. "The wounds were too great," he assured his apprentice.

"Too great for a god to heal?" Teal'c asked, alarmed at the concept.

"Certainly too great for a god that can be slain by a Jaffa's hands," Bra'tac agreed. "I understand what you did," he added. "I have often warned you that your anger will cause you great danger, but I had not foreseen this. Nevertheless, I am glad that you kept the prim'ta from feasting on my daughter; her mother would have thanked you for that."

"But I have killed a god!" Teal'c insisted, distressed by the mere idea.

"Let it be," Bra'tac told him. "If you must be punished for this, then the Gods will know it. In the meantime, put it out of your mind. If Apophis does not deem it worthy of note, then neither should you."

"Yes, First Prime," Teal'c replied.

"Now go back to the hall," Bra'tac told the boy. "Tomorrow is another day; a day when you must train and I must go to war; and your mother will be left to bear the weight of this death, and make arrangements for my daughter."

"Yes, Master Bra'tac," Teal'c agreed, reluctantly.

"We shall speak of this again when I return," Bra'tac said. "And I shall see the killers die for taking my daughter's life. Did you see who wielded the knife?" He asked.

"I did not," Teal'c replied.

"Perhaps his accomplices will tell me before they die," Bra'tac sighed. "Get you home, Teal'c."

 

Feeling weary beyond all rest, Bra'tac made his way back to the tent. Ry'auc had finished winding Andromeda's body, wrapping her in yards of cloth, ready for cremation. Only her face remained clear, and that Ry'auc had cleaned of blood. The girl looked almost peaceful, with no visible sign of the violence of her ending. Ry'auc had shed many tears, and knelt now at Andromeda's side.

"You did not have to do this," Bra'tac told her.

"Someone must," Ry'auc replied. "And you have a battle to fight. Besides; you did not have to comfort my son."

"He feels almost like my own son," Bra'tac said.

Ry'auc smiled sadly. "As Andromeda felt to me like a daughter. I had hoped..." She broke off.

Bra'tac laid a hand on his ne'pher's shoulder. "As had I," he agreed. "As did her mother, before she died, even so long ago." He sighed, sitting beside his daughter's body and gently caressing her face. "I need you to do more for me, if you are willing," he said.

"Whatever you wish for her, I shall see to the arrangements," Ry'auc agreed.

"I do not want her cremated at the temple," he said. "Please, bury her alongside her mother, so that Ariadne need not lie alone."

"It shall be as you ask," she agreed.

"There is a mendicant who lives among the kresh'ta," he went on. "A woman who is known to you, named Kal'rhe."

"Kal'rhe?" Ry'auc was astonished.

"She spoke the rites when I buried my wife, and I would have her do the same for my daughter."

"It shall be done," Ry'auc agreed, still somewhat startled to learn that Kal'rhe, her old friend and confidant, was dwelling on Chulak.

"She has been watching over the boy from afar," Bra'tac explained. "She can explain better than I. When you see her, tell her..." He paused. "Tell her that I wish to speak with her on my return," he said at last, not wishing to burden Ry'auc with the knowledge that her son had slain his own prim'ta. He gazed at his daughter's still form, and suddenly felt a grave doubt that he would return. With Andromeda gone to join her mother, would he be able to summon the resolve to win through?

Ry'auc took hold of Bra'tac's hand and kissed it gently. "All shall be done as you ask," she promised. "But swear something to me now. Swear that you shall come back from this campaign."

Bra'tac was astonished. It felt as though the woman had looked into his very soul. "Ry'auc..."

"Please," she begged. "I know what becomes of warriors when they go to war in despair, and I do not think that Teal'c could bear to lose you as well as Andromeda." She squeezed his fingers tightly. "I know that I could not."

"When my wife knew that she was dying, she asked much the same of me. I swear it," Bra'tac promised, looking her in the eyes as he did so.

Ry'auc turned her gaze away, bashfully. "Thank you, Bra'tac," she said.

*

The next day, Bra'tac lead his warriors through the Chappa'ai. From the surrounding hills boys who hoped one day to be warriors themselves watched the Jaffa pass into the circle of water like a column of ants, shrouded in their chitinous armour, moving as a single organism. The chal'ti from the arena went down to watch, and there Fro'tac and Va'lar missed their friends, Teal'c and An'auc. They left before the entire legion had departed, and headed for Master Bra'tac's house, but en route they were found by Shan'auc, who told them what had happened.

"I went to see An'auc this morning," she said, her lovely face haunted. "And Ry'auc told me."

Va'lar paled, grief tearing at his heart. "Is Teal'c...?"

"He is sitting the last watch at her side," Shan'auc said. "He will see no one until she is buried."

"Buried?" Fro'tac voiced the surprise both young men felt.

Shan'auc nodded. "At her mother's side. Ry'auc asked me to find you both. As An'auc's friends, she would like you to be present."

"Of course," Va'lar said, at once.

"Fro'tac?" Shan'auc asked, seeing him hesitate.

"To attend a heretical funeral," he said, doubtfully. "It might harm my chances of becoming a Serpent Guard."

"Can you not set aside your ambition for one day, Fro'tac!" Va'lar demanded, his composure cracking. "An'auc is _dead_!"

"But we are not," Fro'tac said. "And we must think of ourselves also."

Va'lar and Shan'auc turned away from Fro'tac and walked away.

*

Ry'auc left her son sitting the last watch by the body of his oldest and dearest friend, and went down into the camps. It was not the first time that she had gone back to her old haunts, but each time she remembered with a sick feeling the uncertainty and fear that had always plagued her when she lived in a tiny hut, and sold her body to provide for her son. She drew her cloak around her, as much for psychological protection as to keep out the cold.

She asked a few questions, which led her to a small shack, where a young woman sat in the doorway, wrapped in a grey robe.

"I have come to seek out the chantress," Ry'auc said.

"I am her tok'ai," the girl replied. "Tan'aul. Perhaps I can be of assistance."

Ry'auc shook her head. "I must speak to your kir'a. It concerns Andromeda, daughter of Bra'tac; and also my son, Teal'c."

Tan'aul pricked up her ears. "Teal'c, you say. Wait here a moment." The woman stood and disappeared into the shack.

A moment later an older woman emerged. "Hello, Ry'auc," she said, with a slight smile.

"Kal'rhe," Ry'auc returned, fighting to keep her voice level.

"I am sorry if I seem to have hidden from you," Kal'rhe assured her, her voice carrying genuine regret. "I have tried to stay out of sight as much as possible for Teal'c's sake; it could only harm him if it were known that a once-priestess of Cronus watched over him."

"I understand," Ry'auc assured her. "But...I have need of your services as a chantress," she said. "To perform another burial for the family of Bra'tac."

Kal'rhe's face became serious, and she nodded, gravely. "I feared this day would come sooner, rather than later, and I am sorry. He was a good man."

"It is not Bra'tac," Ry'auc said, her voice catching in her throat. "It is An..." An uncontrollable sob welled up inside her.

Kal'rhe looked stricken, but she pressed aside her own sorrow and moved at once to Ry'auc, taking her by the shoulders and guiding her gently into the hovel where she could mourn without the eyes of strangers upon her. Jaffa emotions were a private matter, not for the sight of others.

"Sit here," Kal'rhe said, guiding Ry'auc to her little chair and kneeling at her feet. "Tan'aul; honeyed milk for our guest. Then you may have the rest of the afternoon to yourself."

"Yes, mistress," Tan'aul replied, sombrely.

Kal'rhe gathered Ry'auc's hands in one of hers, and laid the other on the woman's head. "She is dead?" She asked, disbelieving. "That sweet, brave girl?"

"You knew her?"

"I have watched over Teal'c when I could," Kal'rhe explained. "I could not do that without coming to know a great deal about his friends, and he had none closer."

"That he did not," Ry'auc agreed. "I think that he was just realising how much she meant to him," she added. "They took such joy in each other's company. I have never seen..." She broke off in tears, and Kal'rhe drew Ry'auc's head to her shoulder.

"Weep for her now," the priestess told her friend. "For you must be strong soon, for your son and for the girl's father."

"And who will be strong for me?" Ry'auc asked.

"They both shall," Kal'rhe promised. "But if that is not enough, then I shall be as well. If ever you need a place to come and be weak for a short time, my house will be open to you."

Ry'auc put her arms around Kal'rhe and hugged her tightly. "I have missed you so, my dear friend," she said.

"And I you," Kal'rhe assured her. "But there is no more need for me to hide from you, now that you know I am here."

"I am glad of that. Many times I have wished for someone to speak with; someone who understands."

Kal'rhe pulled away so that she could look Ry'auc in the eyes, and she smiled softly. "I think that Bra'tac understands better than you might suspect," she said. "But we should talk of such things later, and at length. At present, we have grievous business to discuss. If Bra'tac requires the services of a mendicant, do I take it aright that he plans to inter his daughter alongside her mother."

"You do," Ry'auc agreed.

"Then tell me what it is that he needs, and I shall provide it."

*

Later that day, Shan'auc came to Teal'c where he sat beside Andromeda. Despite the preserving compounds bound within her wrappings, the room was beginning to smell, but he bore it without a word.

"Have you slept?" Shan'auc asked.

"I have not," Teal'c replied, he did not need to add that in the past week he had been functioning on increasingly little sleep. Shan'auc knew that, because she knew that she was the reason for it.

"You should rest, Teal'c," Shan'auc told him. "Just for a few hours, until the funeral."

"I must sit the watch for her," Teal'c replied.

"Va'lar..."

" _I_ must sit the watch," Teal'c insisted. "I failed her once, I shall not do so now."

"You look terrible, Teal'c," Shan'auc told him. "You should perform kelno'reem before the ceremony at least."

Teal'c finally looked up at his erstwhile lover, meeting her eyes and seeing a maturity that had not been there before her confession to him, and the tragic loss the followed it. He could not tell, but she saw the same thing as she looked back at him.

"I shall sit with her."

Teal'c and Shan'auc both turned, to see a young woman in a grey robe, and the X tattoo of a priestess on her brow.

"They say that a mendicant's blessings assure a good place in the hereafter," the priestess said. "I am only tok'ai but..."

"How do you come to be here?" Teal'c asked, suspiciously.

"My kir'a will perform the rites for the girl, as she did for her mother. I should like to sit with Andromeda," she added. "Because once she spoke for me, when I gave her no cause." She took a step forwards into the room. "You do not betray or fail her by letting another share your burden," she assured him. "You do so only if you allow her death to destroy you as well."

Teal'c's body language became defensive. "What do you care?" He demanded.

"You also spoke up for me once," Tan'aul told him. "And I gave you less cause that I gave her."

Teal'c's eyes widened in recognition. "I know you," he said. "You were Jor'lac's..." He stopped, embarrassed.

"His whore, yes; but no longer. When I was, though, very few people saw a need to be kind to me. I would be honoured if you would allow me to sit in your place while you rest."

"I...thank you," Teal'c said, rising wearily to his feet.

"I shall call you in time to sit the last hour with her," Tan'aul promised.

*

Andromeda's funeral was hard.

Va'lar and Shan'auc stood with Teal'c at the graveside, and Fro'tac joined them there, stood for the rituals and then left, without saying a word. Va'lar followed him a short way, and they looked long and hard at each other. Then Va'lar nodded, and Fro'tac went on his way. As was traditional, the mourners went back to the house of the deceased, where they sat and spoke of the woman they had known. They spoke of her strength and her joy, and they laughed and smiled to remember her life, but afterwards, in the quiet darkness of Bra'tac's home – of Andromeda's room – Teal'c wept bitter tears.

Ry'auc heard her son's sobs, but did not intrude on his grief. Only when he had cried himself out did she enter and sit with him, holding and gentling him as she had done when he was just a child.

"I loved her," Teal'c said, in a voice hoarse from crying. "And I never knew it until it was too late."

"But you knew it," Ry'auc consoled him. "And she loved you as well and as truly. Thus you and she have known more love than I ever have, for while I loved your father, he never loved me."

 

If the funeral was hard, the day after was worse. Jaffa tradition allowed no time for mourning, and Teal'c was obliged to return to the warrior's hall. There, with only Fro'tac and Va'lar for support, he was expected to hold his grief away, making no public display of his sorrow. His training company had all been fond of An'auc, who had stood almost as an honorary member of their band, and they shared Teal'c's sadness. For the other chal'ti, she had only been the First Prime's daughter, and although they expressed their regrets, it was only in a hollow, formal way.

The worst was Jor'lac. He spoke earnestly of his sadness, so much so that even Va'lar was convinced of his sincerity, but when he took Teal'c's hand in token of his sympathies, something dark flashed in his eyes. A cloud of hate and fear crossed the young Jaffa's face, and suddenly Teal'c knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, whose eyes had looked at him from behind the mask and whose hand had wielded the killing blade that night.

Teal'c knew who had killed his dearest friend, his beloved Andromeda, and he could do nothing. He had sworn to the First Prime that he did not know who held the knife, and he could not take that back. Frustrated beyond measure, Teal'c swallowed his rage, and thanked Jor'lac for his kind words.

Later that night, he swore that he would one day take Jor'lac's life with his own hands.

*

_Six days later_

Bra'tac returned from Shalkat bloodied but victorious. He had lost almost half of the forces he lead through the Chappa'ai, and the same proportion of the warriors aboard the ha'tak vessels. The motherships themselves, battered but still battle-worthy, remained in orbit above the planet, until Apophis' grip on the world could be cemented. Bastet's forces had been driven from the planet in defeat, with even greater losses. With their ships destroyed, only a handful had succeeded in flanking the warriors of Apophis and fleeing through the Chappa'ai. Kereb'na had stayed until the end, fighting a valiant holding action to keep the Serpent Guard from reinforcing the Chappa'ai. At last, her Kaffir elite had been killed, and she herself captured, half dead. Bra'tac had slain her, rather than subject one of his most esteemed foes to the humiliation of being dragged before Apophis.

From the Chappa'ai, Bra'tac went directly to the palace of Apophis to report his success, eager to dispense with his duty. The God was not currently on Chulak, but the First Prime could speak with him via the communication devices in his throne room. This he did, telling Apophis of the rout of Bastet's Jaffa, and withholding from him any word of the casualties in his own forces.

After receiving the God's commendations and passing them on to his commanders, Bra'tac was free to attend his own business. He went first to the chamka grove where his family lay together, and then to the dungeons of the palace. After that he came home, and it was already growing dark. His mood was grim, and he went to his own room without speaking to anyone.

An hour after his arrival, Ry'auc brought him food and drink, and water to wash himself, for he was still caked in the blood and sweat of his campaign. "What troubles you, Master Bra'tac?" She asked. "I know that you grieve for your daughter, as do we all, but you are filled with rage as well as sorrow."

"My daughter's killers," he explained. "They are dead. Executed the day I left for Shalkat. They will never now reveal to me the identity of the one whose knife cut out my heart, because my warriors, whom I trusted to keep my home in my absence, have conspired to protect this cowardly assassin."

"Conspired?"

Bra'tac started up, violently. "They disobeyed my orders to keep the prisoners until my return, so that they could not speak of what they knew! I would wager that those poor fools knew nothing of the knife; that they simply desired revenge for their own bruises. Now the one hand, the single will behind the attack is held from me. I have my suspicions," he added. "But I can not act without proof; his family are too powerful."

"I am so sorry, Master Bra'tac," Ry'auc said.

Bra'tac waved away her sympathies. "It would not have brought her back," he grumbled.

Ry'auc shook her head. "But still," she said. She laid a hand gently on his arm. "I am sorry. I wish that I could ease your pain, Bra'tac; but I have no words to comfort you."

Bra'tac turned towards her, and the pain in his eyes was enough to break her heart.

"No words," she repeated, in a whisper, sliding her hand up across his shoulder to caress the side of his face.

Neither of them could say which of them moved first, but one of them did, and quite suddenly Bra'tac was kissing Ry'auc; or perhaps she was kissing him.

 

In the morning, Ry'auc slipped from Bra'tac's bed and returned to her own chamber, her skin burning with shame. What they had done was no act of love, but an expression of a deep, black, howling need. It had nothing of their respect and affection for each other, only the hollow, reckless cravings of blood and flesh. There had been no comfort in it, just a temporary numbing of the pain they shared, as memory, thought and care were stripped away and consumed by a fevered hunger. She felt dirty for being a part of what had happened, and it seemed as though she had lost something of herself; something precious.

Ry'auc washed herself, trying to scrub the memory from her mind as easily as she did the sweat from her skin, but she could not. When she saw Bra'tac in the parlour, she averted her eyes, and was aware that he did the same. She still had the same feelings for him, but since the previous night something new had come, and now a dark, ugly shame stood between them, and without even thinking of it she held herself away from him as she went about her business.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked.

"Yes," she replied, not referring to the bruises on her skin. "Did I hurt you?"

"Yes," he answered, and they did not speak of it again for many years.

**Author's Note:**

> The Jaffa hot drink klah'c is an unsweetened blend of coffee, vanilla and cocoa solids; sort of a mocha from hell.
> 
> This fic may be the worst I have ever treated my characters.


End file.
